Painful Separation

7th April 2007

No sane person would be happy looking at a married couple separating. My friends, family and all the others who knew me and my wife, tried to stop us from separating. There were many reasons why separation could have been avoided and many reasons why it couldn’t have been. The biggest and the most valid reason for not separating was our kids. We both loved the kids, and I know that no matter how irrational I behaved on the outside, I loved them more than anyone else in my life.

But as I told you, she was a lawyer, and she had her mind set on our painful separation. She was hell bent on getting a divorce, and I knew that nothing was going to change her mind. She was obviously disgusted by my behavior, by my thinking and by living such a non-peaceful life with me, being my wife, where I couldn’t even give her my trust.

She was right, and I convinced myself with great difficulty. All our friends, and family, were present there. I can never forget the look in her father’s eyes. He was looking as if he would have killed me if we weren’t in the court room. And I wasn’t defending my case. The month she was away from me, I realized that perhaps I don’t deserve her. I accepted all her claims and I gave her a divorce. More than anything else, she had just once said that divorcing me would have been happier than making up for all my irrational and hurtful behavior.